I would never call myself a strong, black, independent woman who doesn’t need a man. That label feels limiting and overly simplistic for the depth of my experiences and emotions. I am a woman who has been alone for over a decade, a period that doesn’t include the worthless and wasted time on flings and one-night stands. In my case, I could never have a one-off; they always tried to come back. I even told one guy that the reason we did something was because I just wanted to waste 20 minutes before going into the house. Yet, even after I insulted him, he wouldn’t leave me alone. Damn, I was good back in the day.
Knowing my worth and strength, getting back to brass tacks, I digress. The man that I choose will be a man who will be loved, catered to, and taken care of emotionally, mentally, and physically. As a stylist who loves men’s fashion, I’m also going to style him—hopefully, he lets me. That may be our disagreements.
Carving My Niche Through Solitude
Embracing my solitude over the years, I’ve been able to carve a niche in my professional life that I didn’t even know I had. I’ve transformed my style into something funky but classy, and I’ve embraced the red lipstick because of my grandmother, who wore red lipstick and red fingernail polish. A very good friend of mine hates red lipstick, but that hasn’t deterred me.
When I was in college, I embraced Japanese culture. I learned to speak Japanese and loved going to import shops. I enjoyed the finer things in life, but as I got older and started a family, I forgot about that part of my life. Now that I am renewed, I’m embracing all of that again—the Japanese language and preparing myself to go to Japan and spend some time there. I’m preparing myself to explore the world, despite the obstacles currently in my way. It’s all about preparation and using my solitude to put me in the mindset and create these possibilities to manifest.
The Strength of Solitude
Women who love being alone are a unique breed. We don’t mind eating by ourselves, entertaining ourselves, and not sharing ourselves with just anybody to feel wanted. We know our worth. Our strength doesn’t come from an absence of challenges but from having been through a lot. That’s where we gained our strength and why we know our worth.
Independence Is Not a Weakness
Meeting a woman who has been alone for a while means encountering someone who values her solitude. This isn’t because she fears intimacy or companionship but because she understands the importance of being comfortable in her own company. Her solitude is not a weakness but a testament to her resilience.
Entertaining Oneself
I’ve mastered the art of entertaining myself. Whether it’s through diving into a good book, exploring new fashion trends, or simply enjoying a quiet meal alone, I’ve learned to appreciate these moments of solitude. This independence doesn’t mean I don’t value companionship; it means I don’t rely on it to feel complete. Yes, I talk to myself and answer myself all the time. I even do it in public.
Matching Energy
If you ever meet a woman like me and she gives you an opportunity to be in her life, don’t take that for granted. She’s out here matching energy. She expects the same level of effort and respect that she gives. Don’t be an idiot; understand that a woman is like a teabag—you never know how strong she is until she’s in hot water.
Respect Her Silence
Value the moments she chooses to share with you. Understand that her independence is not a threat to your relationship but a strength that can enhance it. Appreciating her solitude means recognizing the depth of her character and the resilience she has developed through her experiences.
Styling the Man of My Dreams
As a stylist who loves men’s fashion, I look forward to styling the man I choose. This isn’t just about picking out clothes; it’s about enhancing his confidence and helping him present his best self. Men’s fashion is an art form, and I relish the opportunity to create masterpieces for him every day.
A Relationship Built on Mutual Respect
The man I choose will be someone who understands the value of mutual respect. He will be loved, catered to, and taken care of emotionally, mentally, and physically. This relationship will be a partnership where both parties contribute to each other’s well-being and happiness. Our relationship will never be 50/50. There will be days where I’m at 80% and he’s only at 20%. This is where I step up as his partner, as his ride or die, and pick up the slack. And when I’m at 30% and he’s at 70%, he will do the same.
The Humor in Strength
Humor is a vital part of my strength. It’s what keeps me grounded and allows me to navigate life’s challenges with grace. Even in the midst of serious discussions about self-worth and independence, a little humor goes a long way. It’s a reminder that strength doesn’t always have to be stern. Laughter is a powerful tool for resilience. And in my case, South Park is my go-to. I go to sleep every single night with South Park on.
Facts About SOME Women Who Love Being Alone
Not all women are like this, but here are some truths about women who love being alone:
1. We Don’t Mind Being Alone: Women like us are perfectly content with our own company. We don’t feel the need to constantly surround ourselves with others to feel validated.
2. We Know Our Worth: Our time alone has given us a deep understanding of our value. We don’t settle for less than we deserve.
3. We’re Resilient; Our strength comes from the challenges we’ve faced and overcome. We’ve been through a lot, and it has only made us stronger.
4. We’re Selective: We don’t share ourselves with just anybody. When we choose to let someone in, it’s because they’ve earned it.
5. We are Entertained: We know how to keep ourselves entertained and fulfilled. Our hobbies, passions, and even our toys keep us busy and content.
Respect the quirkiness, the playfulness of a woman who has embraced solitude. Understand that our strength is a testament to experiences and resilience. When you’re given the chance to be part of my world, don’t take it for granted. Appreciate the opportunity, value the moments I share with you, and recognize the depth of my character.
In the end, the journey of being alone has taught me invaluable lessons about strength, self-worth, and the importance of mutual respect in relationships. And when the right man comes along, he will not only be loved and taken care of but also styled to perfection, reflecting the harmony and balance we both bring to the table. Through my experiences, I’ve created a mindset of principles and embraced elements of Wabi-Sabi to become UnFuckable, carving out a life of beauty, resilience, and undeniable strength.
