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Self Help

What do I do?

In this podcast, I discuss how I had to focus and choose a business in order to obtain the Over 40 & Killing it Lifestyle. Click the picture to listen to the podcast.

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You can listen to the podcast on iTunesSpotify, Amazon, or Pandora.

Don’t forget to join me on Instagram, Twitter, and the Facebook page. I also have a YouTube channel. I will be adding videos very soon so subscribe and hit the notification button so you’ll be notified when the videos come out. Don’t forget to sign up for the emails to get on the VIP list.

So until we meet again my dear Friend, “Stay Cool, Classy, and Keep on Killing it. NEVER give up! NEVER be denied! You’re NEVER too old! NEVER look back!

With love,

Kimberly

Cheers!

Everything is better, “Over Cocktails or Coffee!” ~~kah

Thoughts Of A Lonely Heart

I want to talk about being single. It’s tough being single and over 40. The dating pool is shrinking. Our confidence is shot especially when you put yourself out there via dating services, blind dates or organically trying to meet someone. When no one is responding to your online presence or if you’re out and about and you find it hard to meet the opposite sex, it can kill your self-confidence.

What happened to me stuck with me for a while. If it weren’t for my writing, I would have been an emotional wreck. My pain and sorrows went into my dating diary. Take a look at how I poured my heart into my writing, “Thoughts of a lonely heart.”

I hear a lot about being ghosted. Here we have men and women who want to date a lot of people before choosing one person or they’re not interested in you they disappear without giving you a reason.

What happens if you’re dating someone and you catch feelings?

That’s what happened to me. I met someone organically and caught feelings. I saw him every Friday at the supermarket. We finally decided to exchange phone numbers and pick a place for a coffee date.

We had a couple of phone conversations. The conversations were lopsided but enjoyable. I carried the conversations. It didn’t bother me. The type of job he had, he worked 90 plus hours a week. He didn’t have a lot of life experiences being at his job for 25 years and working a considerable amount of overtime, didn’t allow him much of a personal life.

After our coffee date, I didn’t see him for two months. We talked on the phone when he decided to call. When I called him, he wouldn’t answer nor call me back. It wasn’t all the time but it happened more often than it should have.

We would make plans but they got canceled, due to him working overtime or the weather. This all happened during the winter months.

When we finally had our second date, we had a ball. He was such a gentleman. He was so attentive. He made me feel so special. I saw myself being with him on an intimate level that never happened. Listen to that inner voice.

Our conversations when we had them consisted of him telling me how much he loved being around me. I needed to be taken care of. I deserved to be pampered. I mean he was really pouring it on. He would send me a good morning text every day.

Then what little phone calls I would get stopped. The good morning text he sent every morning stopped. He never invited me to his house. Things weren’t adding up. The red flags were flying.

My feelings were hurt. I really thought I found someone who I could be with. I was so wrong.

Needless to say, he stopped calling me and that was it. I go into this relationship a little more in my book Over 40 And Killing It, which will be out before the New Year. I look forward to you reading it.

Check out the poetry that got me through my heartache by clicking here. I’m not a poet but I wrote from the heart.

You can listen to the podcast on iTunesSpotify, Amazon, or Pandora.

Don’t forget to join me on Instagram, Twitter, and the Facebook page. I also have a YouTube channel. I will be adding videos very soon so subscribe and hit the notification button so you’ll be notified when the videos come out. Don’t forget to sign up for the emails to get on the VIP list.

So until we meet again my dear Friend, “Stay Cool, Classy, and Keep on Killing it. NEVER give up! NEVER be denied! You’re NEVER too old! NEVER look back!

With love,

Kimberly

P.S. If you’re going through a situation or just need someone to talk to sign up for a consultation with me by using my online calendar. I would love to chit chat with you. Don’t hesitate to call or do a video call.

I’m here for you!

Click the picture to listen to the podcast

This year, 2020 has been the worst for all of us. If you’re single with no support systems is even worse.

Do you feel lonely or isolated? Are your weekends filled with emptiness? All you may have are your pets if you have any. If you don’t you’re alone with your thoughts. Well, it doesn’t have to be that way. I’m here for you.

We either can do a zoom call or a phone call, whatever works best for you.

You can use my online calendar listed below to set-up your consultation.

I have a special right now. Click below to take full advantage of the offer. After you purchase your consultation come on back and schedule your appointment.

I look forward to chit-chatting with you. We can talk about whatever tickles your fancy. Once you finish setting up your consultation check out the podcast.

Kimberly
xoxo

About

 

Kimberly Ann Hawes resides in Pittsburgh where she was born and raised. She’s a Steel City Chick who loves her sports teams. She wrote her first book, Sipping Styling and Socializing, in college, which was acknowledged in her hometown. She packed it away and will be bringing it back to life in the near future. She also wrote a column, Single? Where To Go And What To Do? She began writing when her law professor told her she was a very good writer. She held onto his words until many years later when she wrote her second book, Two Strangers With One Heartbeat.

Kimberly loves to write. It’s her stress reliever and a way to escape and let her imagination run wild. Another stress reliever for Kimberly is watching cartoons. She loves the old school ones and some of the new ones. And she’s also an animal lover.

When Kimberly isn’t writing, she’s dabbling with interior design, going to flea markets, dining out, taking road trips, and antiquing. She’s a collector of Indian Buddhas and Asian art. She has a weekly podcast, Over 40 and Killing it, where she discusses topics such as dating, sex after 40, remaining ageless, and self-help.

Kimberly hopes her writing will inspire and entertain her readers. From her self-help books, thrillers, and romances, she hopes that her audience will enjoy her work.

Xoxo

Make sure you join Kimberly’s VIP list to receive, book release dates, discounts, and events. 

You can listen to the podcast on iTunesSpotifyAmazon, or Pandora.

 

Over 40 and Killing It (Book)

f0fd6a_4692d31019bd4f29a0e6491cb77da617Welcome to my world, Over 40 & Killing it®! Here’s a little background that led me to write Over 40 and Killing It along with my other books.

I used to get asked on a daily basis, via the Facebook page, e-mails, and random conversations, who is behind Over 40 & Killing it®? It’s me, Kimberly, over 40, and living life to the fullest!

Don’t get me wrong it’s been a bumpy ride. I had it all (great job, beautiful place, a healthy savings account, and a sexy BMW (before Surge my Volvo) before my mid-life crisis kicked my ass into a poverty lifestyle. My self-esteem and confidence were shot to hell. I had none. It’s all in my Over 40 and Killing It® book coming out in late December. You’ll get it right before New Years’ so you can implement some of the strategies that are in the book.

So where did all this fabulousness come from? It came from within. Yes on the outside I had it going on but it’s the inner beauty that makes you desirable. When I went through my mid-life crisis I lost all of the fabulousness. Ladies and Gentlemen, I had it going on. I had the clothes, the car, the money, and that certain je ne sais quoi.

However, I lost it which is why I created  Over 40 & Killing it®. It was my online therapy, pictorial, and inspirational diary. I had no one to turn to for encouragement or inspiration, so I had to create a space for myself.

Over 40 & Killing it was not only my therapy but it turned out to be a way for me to meet some incredible ladies and gentlemen who were going through similar situations.

This is why I created the Facebook page so we can all come together and support one another. It is so inspiring to chit-chat with like-minded people.

Just like most people, I am still working on achieving the lifestyle I deserve. My journey will never end. I’m constantly improving myself, learning new things, and going, after all, my lifelong dreams and goals. I will never stop and neither should you! In the book, I talk about all of my trials and tribulations I went through starting with the mid-life crisis.

Over 40. Success over 40, Health & Fitness

I stated previously, I didn’t have a support system. I’m an only child and never had any friends in Pittsburgh. I had no one kicking me in the ass saying Kimmy my dear, “you’re messing up” or “what the hell are you doing!”  The friends I acquired during my, “crisis” were superficial assholes with no souls or goals, just a bunch of drunks.

What’s interesting looking back I would never have befriended any of them if it wasn’t for my, “crisis.” Our paths would never have crossed. I’m not putting myself above anyone but hanging in bars five nights out the week, gossiping about the people I called my friends, and the backstabbing was never how I rolled. Every one of them has been fully relegated from my life. Oh, it’s all in the book.

My very close friend who doesn’t live in Pittsburgh had no clue my life was spiraling out of control (just hanging out too much, increased drinking, smoking cigarettes, and living beyond my means). I never did drugs.

It's time to, "Live the Lifestyle YOU deserve!"

It’s time to, “Live the Lifestyle YOU deserve!”

During these troubling times, I came up with a mantra that I still use today. I call it my three R’s,  I would reflect (on what happened), redirect (got my shit together and focused on what’s important before all hell broke loose) and then reconnected (start putting the pieces back together). This really helped. You need something that will pull you out of that black hole. I go into detail about the black hole I fell into during my mid-life crisis in the book. It wasn’t pretty.

I hope, my podcast, email updates, (go ahead, sign up) and events will get you through the next act of your life with ease, style, and a little bit of fun! Hopefully, you won’t make the same mistakes I did.

No matter what your situation or status may be, tune in daily on Twitter for some inspiration, sarcasm, style suggestions, how to go from poverty to posh, cocktail suggestions (my fav), and more in hopes of helping you get through whatever you’re going through or to just brighten up your day.

Over 40 & Killing It is about helping you to enhance your PPSP (Personal, Professional, Spiritual & Physical) life. The spiritual side is all on you. I’ve been down and out and it’s a horrible place to be, especially when you have no one to turn to.  So, if I can help just one person a day with a kind word, a smile, a Facebook post, or my Tweets then that’s all that matters.

One thing I must add before I break out. I’m a keep it real type of person. I will inspire, encourage, and motivate you to no end. However, I say what’s on my mind. I’m brutally honest. If this bothers you, then we may not be a good fit and that’s ok!

Well, that’s it my Dahlings. I hope to see you at an event soon I hope. If not we’ll connect through Zoom. Make sure you check out the podcast.

You can listen to the podcast on iTunesSpotify, Amazon, or Pandora.

Don’t forget to join me on Instagram, Twitter, and the Facebook page. I also have a YouTube channel. I will be adding videos very soon so subscribe and hit the notification button so you’ll be notified when the videos come out. Don’t forget to sign up for the emails to get on the VIP list.

I want to leave you with an excerpt from my Over 40 and Killing It book…

In a perfect world, we should be able to saunter into our second chapter financially stable, looking and feeling fabulous, and having a significant other, if that’s your choice. Right? The problem with easing into our second chapter for some of us is fear, health problems, loneliness, having no support system, or taking care of an elder parent or relative. If you can relate, raise your hand and say absofuckinglutely.

How would you describe your personal, professional, spiritual, and physical (P.P.S.P.) life right now? Are you stuck in a rut? Unsure of what road to travel? Experiencing depression? In need of a total mind, body, and soul makeover?

Let’s go even further. Are you going to bed dissatisfied with the day’s lack of events or the mind race (racing thoughts that keep you up at night)? Do you take out your to-do list with tears in your eyes asking that one question, “Why can’t I complete just ONE thing on the list?” Do you have mood swings that may hurt the ones you love?

What’s troublesome is, this becomes a cycle. Each day you try extremely hard to write with enthusiasm, on your to-do list, what needs to be done. This can be very grueling, but you try to muddle through it. At times you feel a little excited before going to bed, thinking about the new day ahead with new possibilities. You say to yourself, “Tomorrow will be the day of forgetting yesterday and focusing on today. I will complete my to-do list or at least a couple of things on the list.”

Then it all goes belly up. You toss and turn all night, not being able to go to sleep. The racing thoughts won’t settle down. When things finally settle, and you doze off, in an hour or so, it’s time to get up.

Sounds pretty dismal, doesn’t it? This is life. A rollercoaster of emotional highs and lows. You can get off the rollercoaster at any time when it comes to a stop, or you can stay and continue with the ups and downs of the ride. It’s up to you.

I’ve experienced that emotional rollercoaster. It was my emotional black hole. Every day it felt like I was falling deeper and deeper into a world of self-pity, low self-esteem, and depression which was never-ending.

Until one day, I’ll never forget, I was awakened, not by racing thoughts, but with an awesome dream.

Some of us can never remember our dreams, especially the really good ones. I remembered this one from beginning to end. 

Get the book so you can see how it all ends. The pre-orders will begin soon. Get on the email list to find out about the pre-orders. 

You can listen to the podcast on iTunes, Google Play, Spotify, or Pandora.

So until we meet again my dear Friend, “Stay Cool, Classy, and Keep on Killing it. NEVER give up! NEVER be denied! You’re NEVER too old! NEVER look back! Peace!

With love,

Kimberly

Cheers!
Kimberly Ann Hawes
KH

Envy…

envy2

I’m not a poet, far from it. So, this little poem is not “poetically” correct but it’s how I felt at the time I was reminiscing on how far I’ve come since my mid-life crisis. It’s been a long journey in regaining the Over 40 & Killing it® Lifestyle. I’ve made it! I styled and wrote my way to success in 365 days. Success doesn’t happen overnight.

I am still sauntering down the streets of success, it’s never-ending. I do stop from time to time, to absorb all the beautiful things around me and to give thanks for all I have.

The greatest feeling is living in this new chapter of my life without the frienemies and jealous individuals I befriended during my mid-life crisis.

I can’t blame them for my demise, that was all me. However, I do thank them for their envious behavior, their empty dreams, and their no ambition attitude. That was the driving force that catapulted me into aggressively going after my dreams and becoming a Jeans & a Tee, CEO of Over 40 & Killing it®.

Sometimes before I go to bed I think about the past couple of years and all I can do is shake my head at what I’ve been through and the people I encountered.

I haven’t spoken to any of my mid-life crisis frienemies but from time to time I get a glimpse into some of their lives via Facebook. They are just as I left them but older with sad souls.

They are doing the same things, living the same unproductive lifestyle and wasting money they don’t have just as they were 7 years ago when I first met them.

It’s sad a couple of them had true potential to achieve so much more than what they settled for. And with that being said…I wrote this poem on December 31, 2014, while reminiscing about years past, in honor of my frienemies!

What do I have that you want
I’m just like you
When you see me I don’t flaunt
But inside you brew

Hard work, patience, discipline
that’s all you need from what I see
to transform that arson
that burns so deep inside you have for me

What do I have that you want
I earned what I have
so take your envious taunts,
turn them into your wants

Your Mind, Heart, and Soul
will take you to the top
Take a survey, Take a poll
it will show you not to stop

Love your life not mine
Your next act, your action plan
will be well worth your time
You will have what I have,
And maybe your first fan!

You can listen to the podcast on iTunesSpotify, Amazon, or Pandora.

Don’t forget to join me on Instagram, Twitter, and the Facebook page. I also have a YouTube channel. I will be adding videos very soon so subscribe and hit the notification button so you’ll be notified when the videos come out. Don’t forget to sign up for the emails to get on the VIP list.

So until we meet again my dear Friend, “Stay Cool, Classy, and Keep on Killing it. NEVER give up! NEVER be denied! You’re NEVER too old! NEVER look back!

With love,

Kimberly

Cheers!

Everything is better, “Over Cocktails or Coffee!” ~~kah

4 tips on how to deal with the heart & brain battle

When it comes to your dreams, your passions, follow your heart. When it comes to matters in dealing with friends, family, lovers, this is where the heart and brain begin to battle. My advice to you, from past experiences, listen to the brain.

I pride myself on my cold and calculating personality when it comes to making decisions. People who know me very well changed my middle name from Ann to Asshole. I’m okay with that. Once in a while, my heart will melt. I am human. When it does melt I’m kicking myself in the ass every time! It only happens once or twice a year, thank the Heavens for that!

The heart feels. The brain foresees. The brain knows the negative impact you will endure after the action you were contemplating is completed.

You will thank your brain in the long run, instead of second-guessing your action and feeling like a fool for following your heart.

When you’re contemplating an action that is based on feelings, never;

  1. Make that decision when you’re feeling vulnerable,
  2. When your mood maybe a little out of balance.
  3. Be patient and wait it out.
  4. During the wait, meditate and visualize the outcome you have chosen or what you want to happen

That wait and visualization will be the best thing for you.

I recently experienced the heart and brain battle. I felt that my seize the moment may have past.  This was a heart moment. I thought I may never have the chance to say how I felt and what my intentions were. An affair of the heart.

I was able to think through the outcome of my intended actions. I decided that my actions would’ve had a negative outcome.

There will always be that what-if question. That reoccurring thought of the unknown. These will pass.

You’ll thank me in the end.

Never cut a tree down in the wintertime. Never make a negative decision in the low time. Never make your most important decisions when you are in your worst moods. Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come. ~~ Robert H. Schuller

You can listen to the podcast on iTunesSpotify, Amazon, or Pandora.

Don’t forget to join me on Instagram, Twitter, and the Facebook page. I also have a YouTube channel. I will be adding videos very soon so subscribe and hit the notification button so you’ll be notified when the videos come out. Don’t forget to sign up for the emails to get on the VIP list.

So until we meet again my dear Friend, “Stay Cool, Classy, and Keep on Killing it. NEVER give up! NEVER be denied! You’re NEVER too old! NEVER look back!

With love,

Kimberly

Cheers!

Everything is better, “Over Cocktails or Coffee!” ~~kah

30 Day Motivation Challenge

Hello Ladies & Gentlemen, I have a challenge for you that will start on the first of the month. 
 
Some of us have gone through or are currently going through certain situations that have ripped us of our self-confidence and motivation.
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So how do we pull ourselves out of this rut? Where do we even begin?
 
I’ve been there. I’m going to give you my 30 suggestions to help you with this journey.
 
On the 30th do a reflect, redirect and a reconnect wrap-up.
 
Each day I will give you something to think about or work on.
 
So grab your journal and get ready to build up your confidence.
 
I created a Jetset journal a long time ago and I still use it today. You can call yours whatever you want but just make sure to pick one up.
There’s a link for each day. Check back each day and click on the link for that encouragement and motivation.
It’s a new month for new goals and new styles. It’s also the start of the Motivation Challenge. I hope you got your journal so you can keep your thoughts, goals, and desires in one place.

Some of us have been through so much it has taken a toll on us which has stripped our confidence down to nothing.

You need to style your soul first then work on styling your body.

You can look good on the outside but if the soul isn’t matching the outer, then you’re not going to speak without saying a word. That’s what we all want to let our inner beauty speak first. You have a certain walk and look when you feel good on the inside.

That’s the key to motivation is having confidence, commanding the room when you walk in. So let’s start building up your motivation and confidence.

So here we go on building up your confidence.

You look good.
You do good.

Let me know if you have problems with the link.

Day 1   – Recognize your blessings
Day 2   – You’re not alone
Day 3   – Discover the path
Day 4   – Continue to take action
Day 5   – Don’t compare yourself to others
Day 6   – You reap what you sow
Day 7   – Be content with your best self
Day 8   – Develop positive habits
Day 9   – Believe in yourself
Day 10 – Get up when you fall
Day 11 – Surround yourself with positivity
Day 12 – Reawaken anew each day
Day 13 – Take care of foreseeable obstacles
Day 14 – Actions speak louder than words
Day 15 – Get selfish, keep the focus on you
Day 16 – Develop an exercise routine
Day 17 – Eating healthy
Day 18 – Reassess your vision every so often
Day 19 – Too much thinking is never a good thing
Day 20 – Focus on your goal, not outdoing others
Day 22 – Practice kindness along the way
Day 23 – Keep looking ahead
Day 24 – Life is a marathon
Day 25 – Problems are part of the process
Day 26 – Keep your goals set high
Day 27 – It’s OK to be where you are
Day 28 – An object in motion stays in motion. An object at rest stays at rest.
Day 29 – Don’t give up
Day 30 – Taste the little victories

Well Ladies and Gentlemen, let’s chit-chat about this. What are your thoughts? You can leave your comment in the section below. I’m looking forward to hearing what you think.

You can listen to the podcast on iTunesSpotify, Amazon, or Pandora.

Don’t forget to join me on Instagram, Twitter, and the Facebook page. I also have a YouTube channel. I will be adding videos very soon so subscribe and hit the notification button so you’ll be notified when the videos come out. Don’t forget to sign up for the emails to get on the VIP list.

So until we meet again my dear Friend, “Stay Cool, Classy, and Keep on Killing it. NEVER give up! NEVER be denied! You’re NEVER too old! NEVER look back!

With love,

Kimberly